The circle of life: one ICU to the next

Lizzie's first days spent in ICU



Me and Lizzie in ICU



Dr Seuss said: "Don't cry because it's over, be glad it happened."

Bye-bye maternity leave; hello tax season.

I don't know how else to start this post but to say that the bookends of my maternity leave were spent in ICU, and I've learned more in recent weeks than in my entire 34 years of life.

ICU was first for my newborn, then for my grandmother.



Maternity leave ended yesterday, and my newborn is exactly 11 weeks old, just one week shy of the legal length of maternity leave (12 weeks in the United States). With my first daughter, I took six months off. My leaves were drastically different. 



My early days with Madeleine (now 4 years old), were spent with new mommy friends at the park or the mall. We picnicked in the Rhododendron Gardens, got fit going to Stroller Strides, and had playdates, which were more like mom-dates since none of our kids were old enough to move around, let alone play.



Maternity leave with Maddi at Music Together



Then came Elizabeth (now 2.5 months old), born with Downs syndrome and a difficult delivery at best. The first week Lizzie was in ICU, and I recovered in the hospital. Week two was spent at doctors' appointments everyday to control her jaundice and stoke her palate to begin eating. Week three brought appointments with pediatric radiology who told us her brain had not swelled as originally thought, and audiology who continued to be unable to get Lizzie's left ear to pass the test.



Forget picnics in the park.



Week three also brought me to the end of my rope. I discovered I was shedding enough tears to fill the Atlantic Ocean. I found help in support groups, church and my doctor.



Weeks four, five and six brought the holidays, and we were doted on like never before. Read these posts to find out what we did: Palm Desert and Together with Family. Those were great weeks. I discovered I had support far and wide. We have a baby with Downs and it's no big deal. With the reassurance from my family and close friends, life began to fall into place.



Lizzie's final audiology appointment when we learned her hearing is a-OK.



The next couple weeks also mirrored the maternity leave I had with Madeleine. I took my first real daytime nap, watched romantic comedies on Apple TV and cooked meals to freeze for my return to work. We started Lizzie's physical therapy, got outside and walked in the fresh air, and hit up downtown tourist spots while my sister visited. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Then weeks 10 and 11 dropped. And I mean dropped like a bomb.

My grandmother was at the house in the Desert and fell. Doctors did a CT scan and found a brain tumor. The entire family (including me and my girls from Portland) rushed to her bedside at Eisenhower Medical Center in Palm Springs to once again discuss high-level medical care issues (as I did with Lizzie in her early days). Within a week, grandma was flown to Portland's OHSU in a lear jet chartered by Angel Flight and the tumor surgerically removed. The diagnosis of cancer was made and treatment starts in three weeks.

My final week of maternity leave was spent at OHSU in neurosurgery ICU. Grandma is now home and my mom has moved in to assist with her recovery, including numerous doctor visits, resume tests of her blood sugar and provide general support.

Sound familiar? Maybe like the first days of Lizzie's birth? The zillion tests and doctors appointments.

And again, family and friends came out in droves to support us. Dearest Kati gave my mom a lift from the airport, Matt and Nancy traegered a roast beef for our homecoming dinner, flowers fill every open space of my grandma's apartment. Aly and Stewart had food delivered to our doorstep to "lighten the load." Bless these people. While I never want them to undergo the challenges we have faced, I am aching for the day to give them the strength to stand up on their two feet as they did for me and for my family.



Me and my best friend at Maddi's first dance recital.

Grandma will recover with a lot of hard work through chemo and radiation. Young Elizabeth with join her peers with a lot of hard work in physical and speech therapy. The two of them together will enrich our family and teach us many things.

I've already learned more in the last 11 weeks of maternity leave then in my entire life of school (including grad school), or from any book or work experience.

It's that my inspiration (my grandma) is brave and courageous. It's that my first daughter has an enviable innocence as she cares for grandma and Lizzie. Her first words to grandma Patti on her hospital bed after brain surgery were: "You look pretty grandma." It's that my second daughter will bring us joy and enrichment beyond what we can predict today.



The weeks to come will be challenging, but I'm back at work now where there is regimen and routine, which I like. In the face of 11 difficult weeks, we are a stronger family and we've learned just how important family and friends and community can be.